BETTY BOOP MEETS LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD

Originally, Betty Boop was made of pen and ink, 

And those big dark eyes, they could certainly wink. 

She was a caricature of the singer Helen Kane, 

Who, in the 1920's had become a famous name. 

But in the real life, she is now sweet Caroline, 

Betty Boop reincarnated, making her so divine. 

She hails from the town of Keith, does this Betty lass, 

Working as a lifeguard, or ‘spinning’ classes on her ass. 

One night out, she bumps into Little Red Riding Hood, 

How this young woman got there, it couldn’t be understood. 

“What on Earth?!” Cried Betty. “Fit ye daen here in Keith the day?” 

Riding Hood replied, “What? I don’t understand what you say.” 

“Are you telling me that you’re Riding Hood and you’re actually real?” 

Betty says to Hoodie, “C’mon ma quine, fit’s the actual deal?” 

Once translated, Hoodie got the gist of the North East lingo, 

Made friends with Betty Boop and went for a game of bingo.

“I had to get away from Fairytale land.” Hoodie says to Betty, 

“Running away from the wolf, I was getting scared and very sweaty. 

I moved up here to Scotland, to get away from all the fuss, 

I missed my train time and again, so got the Megabus.” 

Wolfie had followed Riding Hood, thinking he was getting lucky, 

But the stupid bugger kept to the left and ended up in Buckie. 

So, now it seems that Riding Hood, is living safe and sound, 

Playing bingo with Betty, who’s at the bar, getting in a round.

Now, alas poor Wolfie, he’s met his match, the Buckie fishing crew, 

He’ll either end up as someone’s pet, or a window he’ll go through. 

Betty Boop came back to her seat, with Champagne for Hoodie’s troubles. 

Because there is nothing like gaining a friend and celebrating with bubbles.

The End